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When working retail, I was asked to provide surveillance of shoppers.  My instructions were to observe the behavior of shoppers based on appearance.  But I watched the behavior of shoppers, only from a respectful distance, while interacting with them in a generally pleasant manner, and saw that certain behaviors were sometimes but not always related to shoplifting.  And I was also watching to see what needs my customers might have.

A family member was interested in joining a neighborhood watch, but others told me it was only for those of a certain ethnic or religious group.  This watch group knew their own culture, but missed some clear indications of concern because they didn’t know other cultures.  And some really nice neighbors were suspected of misdeeds, and treated suspiciously.  If that group could go back and re-do things, likely they would do things differently.  Now we know we all want a safe community. 

Arthur Ashe said:

Start where you are.  Use what you have.  Do what you can.

When I went to church school as a child, some of the religious teachers told us that those who did not attend a school of the same religion would go to a bad place for all eternity.  Meanwhile, I played with neighbor children who were of other religions and who went to other schools.  Summer day camp was with the church of another religion, and it was fun.

After 911, we took our son on a tour of a mosque.  There were news reports suggesting that all Muslims were terrorists.  We felt it was important for him to see for himself that this was so not true.

When our dog was bitten by another dog, the fact that our vet was also the vet for the other dog helped us to know that our situation would be understood.  Our vet was Orthodox Jewish as we lived in the midst of the eruv then.

Parents tend to want their children to have a place to live, enough to eat, something to wear, opportunities for learning, safety, a means of transportation, and to be treated with compassion and respect.  We are more alike than we are different.

Former Adversaries Can Become Allies by acknowledging each others’ needs.  People grow and change.  We learn to understand and respect each others’ needs.  Some of us need less attention, some need more.  Some need their potential acknowledged, some already have that.  Some need to have reasonable boundaries respected.  Many of us want the same things:  to love, to work and to take care of family.

Some groups have chain of command, some have steering committees, and some groups can gradually shift the structure to respond to changing times and circumstances.  Decisions may be made by agreement by all in a small group when there is enough time, by a democratic process if it is not too urgent but not enough time to reach full agreement, and by one of the top administrators when the decision needs a quick response.  Top administrators can suggest term limits and taking turns for being on call   for top spots.

We all struggle with communication at times.  My grandmother used to say the only heart one really knows is one’s own, and sometimes we are learning our own heart too.

Our military is strong, brave, well trained and ready for anything.  During times of less fighting, they might want to help with rescue efforts due to natural and man-made large scale or small scale events.  So many have fought and died for us to have rights that we use every day.  I remember that when hospital staff could not get in to work during a storm, the military was ready to transport us.  There was no storm too big for them to respond.

Many prisoners like to have visitors.  We can include prisoners, whether innocent or guilty, in our thoughts.  Prisoners can often contribute to society, when given the chance, even if not free.  Even prisoners can decide whether to allow a visitor, by placing the name on their approved visitor list.  Former adversaries may want to work together to fix problems that affect them both.

Love,

Child Advocate 12